The Style Invitational Week 873 Back to square 1A; Fill
in a crossword, plus readers' punnish clues
By The Empress
Saturday, June 12, 2010; C02
45 Down: POSTA: A newspaper that's
sometimes saucy, sometimes cheesy, but almost always filling, especially for
the price.
Four weeks ago we presented
you with a completed grid of a crossword and asked you to come up with novel
clues for its words, many of which appear in today's results. While devoting
his typical absurd amount of time on that Invite, Craig Dykstra came up with an
idea for another contest:
The grid that appears today
is the same one by Paula Gamache that we printed four weeks ago -- but with
most of the boxes shaded in (click grid link for a printable version). This
week: Replace the shaded letters in any of the words with your own letters to
come up with a different word or phrase -- either an existing word or one you
make up -- and define it humorously, as in the example above. It doesn't matter
if the grid no longer works as a crossword. Label your word with the grid
number it starts with, e.g., "42 Across," or
else it gets tossed. Maximum number of entries: 25 -- the Empress needs a break
and you, sir or madam, need a life.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a prize that the
Empress wishes had come in time for the foal-naming contests: It's one of those
novelty key chains with a little rubbery animal (in this case a horse) that you
squeeze to make "poop," then unsqueeze to make unpoop. Well, in true
Loserly fashion, this horse suffered some injury and is permanently stuck in
the poop mode. Donated by the well-contained Loser Drew
Bennett.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug.
Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser
Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener"
(Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per
week. Send your entries by e-mail to
losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, June 21. Put
"Week 873" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being
ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your
entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries
become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or
content. Results to be published July 10. No purchase
required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate
relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be
disqualified. Both the revised title for next week's results and this week's
honorable-mentions subhead are by Kevin Dopart.
Report from Week 869, in which we asked you to come up with novel clues for any of the
words in the actual crossword shown here: So many Losers offered a new clue for
every freakin' word; however, we lack the freakin' space to show them. Here are
the best. Note that some of these clues require you to read the word
creatively; for example, the clue for BETE needs to be read as "Bet
E."
The Winner of the Inker
57 Across: IRONLADY: The
ferrous maiden of them all (Dana Austin, Falls Church)
2. winner
of the Baby Shower "gun" that shoots out "infants": 1 Down:
DODO: One mixed-up DOOD (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)
3. 22A: AETNA: Latin for
"we don't cover that" (Peter Metrinko, Gainesville)
4. 44D: PRYNNE: She studied
male anatomy and got an A (John Winant, Arlington)
Downgridded: Honorable mentions
1A: DEADLAST: Either Paul or
Ringo (Mike Hammer, Arlington)
Good name for an embalming
fluid (Phil Battey, Alexandria; Fred Dawson, Beltsville; Ann Martin, Bracknell,
England)
Short-lived boxing glove
brand (Kevin Dopart, Washington; Washington; Judith Cottrill, New York)
15A: ONENINTH: Participant in
a ménage à trois à trois (Craig Dykstra)
16A: ARNICA: Painting
depicting the economic devastation under Gov. Schwarzenegger (Ben Frey,
Frederick)
20A: PIXEL: A fairy dust mite
(Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)
27A: ISBAD: The administration's
Twitter report on the economy (Howard Walderman, Columbia)
32A: AHEM: The difference
between a micro-mini and a belt (Kevin Dopart)
End of an agnostic's prayer
(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)
Strom
Thurmond's answer to "Are you Strom Thurmond?" (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church)
33A: SPIRAL: An Agnew-Gore
ticket (William Bradford, Washington)
36A: GOFORTHEJUGULAR: Don't
let them kid you about your name, Ular -- have another drink (Dudley Thompson,
Cary, N.C.)
39A: OEO: Elmer Fudd's
favowit cookie (many entrants)
41A: BETE: Gamble on the last
SAT answer (Kevin Dopart)
42A: BRACELET:
Kate Moss's hula hoop. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Baby-tooth straightener (Ann
Martin)
48A: ATLAS: Google Earth 0.0
(Ari Unikoski, Tel Aviv)
50A: AUTRY: Go for the gold
(many entrants)
55A: STONER: The patron saint
of work (Tom Panther, Springfield, a First Offender)
One who believes the movie
"JFK" was nonfiction (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)
57A: IRONLADY: Elin Nordegren
(Barry Blechman, Washington, a First Offender)
61A: ANGELA: Farrah,
unquestionably (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)
1D: DODO: Aeneas's stupider
girlfriend (Ann Martin)
4D: DNA: Abbrev. for "Daddy's now authenticated" (Beverley Sharp,
Washington)
5D: LIMPID: Driver's license
after it's been through the wash (many entrants)
6D: ANAIS: "And what is
the only acceptable grade, young man?" (Craig Dykstra)
7D: STAX: What comes before
"T. Spend" in Pelosi's to-do list -- J. Boehner, Ohio (Kevin Dopart)
8D: THREEPIECESUITS: Bikinis
for conjoined twins (Pam Sweeney, St. Paul, Minn.; Vytas V. Vergeer,
Washington, a First Offender)
9D: MAT: What Arizona is
setting out on the border, embossed with "Unwelcome" (Jim Noble,
Lexington Park)
11D: ONMEDS: Fight song for
the Mayo Clinic football team (Howard Walderman)
12D: RIBTICKLER: Adam's
obstetrician (John O'Byrne, Dublin)
13D: ICANRELATE: Incestuous
pickup line (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)
23D: CAMO: For hiding in
plane sight (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf)
27D with 27A: IAGO-ISBAD: The
CliffsNotes of the CliffsNotes for "Othello" (Craig Dykstra)
29D: BEFORELONG: John
Silver's prepubescent years (Randy Lee, Burke)
43D: ASANTE: Role of a bra in
strip poker (Pam Sweeney)
44D: PRYNNE: Impuritan
(Dudley Thompson)
47D: GROPE: Costume for a
plus-size stripper (many entrants)
49D: SEAL: Eskimos eat this
and blubber -- and so would you (Jim Noble)
53D: IDEO: Converts a hut
into a hideout (Jeff Contompasis)
54D: NYSE: Where to get
broker (Kevin Dopart)
58D: LOL: What Bill Gates
does on the way to the bank (Phyllis Reinhard, East Fallowfield, Pa.)
Next Week: Let's play Nopardy, or One-hit wonderers